[30 Dec 2004|05:23pm] ADD THIS: flaquesflaques flaques flaques flaques flaques flaques flaques flaques flaques flaques flaques flaques flaques 3 COMMENT

[27 Dec 2004|09:27pm] I want to see my boyfriend. I want to kiss him. I want to not be so alone. I want to stop hating myself. I want to stop spending every night by myself. I want to stop thinking about him. I want to stop feeling bad for myself. I want to be genuinely happy. I want to not be alive. 1 COMMENT

[27 Dec 2004|07:28pm] I don't really have anything to write, Christmas was fine. I'm going to New York City tomorrow and I got Napoleon Dynamite on DVD! KBYE. COMMENT

[25 Dec 2004|07:56am] MERRY CHRISTMAS! 3 COMMENT

[24 Dec 2004|12:53pm] It doesn't feel like Christmas at all. Not in the slightest. I need some freakin' Christmas spirit, hah. Maybe I'll get some tomorrow when I see my whole family, that's the best. COMMENT

[22 Dec 2004|03:32pm] I probably shouldn't be thinking about other boys, but there's just this one boy, Eric, he's a junior and he's really cute. He's just adorable. And we just talk sometimes and he walks me to my bus. I mean, it's not like I would do anything with him or anything, it's just that he's really nice and it's nice to have someone to talk to. So, yeah today he was waiting for me to walk me to my bus and he asked me if I had color contacts. That made me so happy. Because I have brown eyes and people normally don't like brown eyes. And obviously if you ask someone if they have color contacts.. you either think their eyes are pretty, right? Well, I don't know. But that really made me happy. I'm stupid. PS; I'm in love with Operation Ivy now and it's weird. 2 COMMENT

[19 Dec 2004|08:02pm] This is very unlike me to do, but I think I'm going to become a vegetarian. I was talking to Connor about it, and he decided he would, and he sent me this video: www.meetyourmeat.com It's really fucking sad. It killed me, so I'm gonna try. Think about it. 2 COMMENT

[19 Dec 2004|04:26pm] I think I'm the only person on earth not getting a fucking iPOD. And I've wanted one for a fucking year now, since my grandmom was in the hospital and my uncle had one. Everyone's getting them for Christmas and I'm all, "Oh, I'm too fucking poor to get anything I want." My parents only get me the shitty cheap shit, like Roseart colored pencils and markers. 6 COMMENT

[17 Dec 2004|05:22pm] He came over and sat down on the arm of Stradlater's chair. He never sat down in a chair. Just always on the arm. "Where the hellja get that hat?" he said. "New York." "How much?" "A buck." You got robbed." He started cleaning his goddam fingernails with the end of a match. He was always cleaning his fingernails. It was funny, in a way. His teeth were always mossy-looking, and his ears were always dirty as hell, but he was always cleaning his fingernails. I guess he thought that made him a very neat guy. He took another look at my hat while he was cleaning them. "Up home we wear a hat like that to shoot deer in, for Chrissake," he said. "That's a deer shooting hat." "Like hell it is." I took it off and looked at it. I sort of closed one eye, like I was taking aim at it. "This is a people shooting hat," I said. "I shoot people in this hat." 5 COMMENT

[17 Dec 2004|03:49pm] "Life's easier without friends." -White Oldeander. 4 COMMENT

[15 Dec 2004|07:48pm] ( SUCKY PICTURES FROM SCHOOL, HOORAY. )</center> COMMENT

[14 Dec 2004|08:54pm] I've come to realize how much I despise local shows now. Every single one I go to is just full of scene kids. Every boy the same, in girl pants. Every girl the same, with short black hair. I'm fucking sick of it. It's all my friends, too. All they do is look on myspace for pictures of "hot scene girls", so they can look exactly like them. I guess that makes someone cool? I'm going on some sort of healthy diet deal. I want a flat tummy. PS; leave a comment if you eat cream cheese on your saltine crackers. 10 COMMENT

[12 Dec 2004|03:22pm] I know I haven't updated in awhile, or even been on here. It just happens sometimes where I don't really have anything to write about. And I still don't, but I could just say what's going on. I went over Keith's yesterday, and he got really sick, so I took care of him. But that's beside the point. So when I was at his house, my mommy called me and told me that Cami had been missing for 2 days now, and asked if I knew anything about it. But I hadn't talked to her in so long. And she didn't even call me to tell me what was going on. Apparently she ran away. I don't know, I'm pissed at her for not calling me or anything. I'm getting sick thinking about how much we've grown apart. We've been best friends forever. I just want to know where she is, atleast. I want to know that she's okay. Keith was just holding me last night and I started crying and I didn't know why and I didn't like it and it was weird. And I hate the way I sound so I'm going to stop right now. 2 COMMENT

[30 Nov 2004|04:50pm] I wish I didn't suck so fucking bad at bowling! I was doing so well, and then I was like, "Just kidding guys, I suck!" and ended up with a 102! 102, 80 fucking 6, and 90. I was so pissed. First game tomorrow. Wish me luck. :\ 2 COMMENT

[28 Nov 2004|08:10pm] You fascinate me. How do you do it? One second, you have me wishing I never met you, and then the next second, you have me so fucking in love that I can't stop smiling. Jesus Christ. I have bowling practice tomorrow! Can't fucking wait. I'm going to OWN, bitchez. 3 COMMENT

[27 Nov 2004|10:22am] Yesterday, Keith came over at like 8:30 in the morning. It was ridiculous, I was still sleeping. I looked so gross the whole day. I wasn't wearing any makeup, my hair was a mess, I was wearing my pajamas, my face is covered in pimples, I didn't shower. I'm surprised he even stayed. So, we just kind of did the same thing we do everytime we hang out, which is lay around and watch TV. Mostly cartoons, because that's all he likes. Hah. It was a good time, and I love him. And then his side was hurting really bad for some reason, I don't know. I didn't know what to do. I wanted to help it, but I didn't know how. So, we just fell asleep. It was cute, he falls asleep really fast. He snores a little bit, and it was right in my ear. And. And. Yes. But then he woke up and his mom was there, and he jumped up and put all his stuff on, and hugged me and kissed me and that was it. He just left. It was like he didn't want to be there at all. I make a big deal out of everything, I've got to stop. Okay, bye. 6 COMMENT

[25 Nov 2004|01:01pm] It's my birthday today. I'm sixteen. It's weird, becuase sixteen is so much older than fifteen. So I feel old. Mmmmmmyes. So far, my friend Katie knitted me a scarf, and gave me a book. And my mommy got me A Chorus Line DVD, and Blood Brothers - Crimes. But she has more presents to come, tonight, when everyone else is here for the day. This was on my friend's profile: happy we killed your people fucked your women and stole your land day. Okay, bye. 3 COMMENT

[22 Nov 2004|07:30pm] Yeah, so I was totally just sitting here, really bored. And then I saw the camera. And I was like, "Hey! Let's take a few pictures!" There's only three, but, okay! ( YAY FOR NO MAKEUP! )</center> 12 COMMENT

[21 Nov 2004|05:03pm] ( LOVE RHYMES WITH HIDEOUS CAR WRECK. )</center> 2 COMMENT

[21 Nov 2004|03:30pm] Haha, Keith's mom asked him if we had sex. She totally thinks I'm the biggest hussy alive. Haha. He was like, "No, mom. Don't ever ask me that again." I need to stop talking/thinking about him. READY, SET, GO! COMMENT

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